What is going on?

Cannot get something out of my head. Can anybody give me some tips. I was looking a short while too long into those eyse. Lost, game over, what the fuck. Can it be ? Butterflies... was not looking for having butterflies in my stomach. To tell it in Italian. CAZZO CAZZO CAZZO or in englisch SHIT SHIT SHIT or in proper Italian MERDA. How can I make my life if I complicate it always myself. After almost one year alone and the idea of never beeing able to feel all those feelings - it was crashing into me without me seeing it coming. Wanted to be your friend but always deep inside I knew this eyse would cause me problems. And now ? Confusion. But anyway thanks for showing me that I am able to feel this. Whatever will turn out to be - this moment I will protect inside my heart till the end of my days. Not sure what you would think about this. Didn`t tell you, we didn`t talk about it. On my mind and not sure if that is the right place for you.