6 years ago in Germany. My house and the garden I loved so much. Already had my sick Gismo-cat. One morning I went for a roundtrip through my garden with Gismo, when I saw him - the skinniest cat I have ever seen.
He was maybe one year old, sitting on the wall, watching us with fear. The fur was coloured like a cow - white with black spots. So I called him Kuhka (Kuhkatze = cowcat).
When I moved closer I saw, he was hurted. All the fur on the backlegs was complete gone, like somebody had tried to take his fur off - bastards. The backlegs were naked, with bloody skin.
Food, I was thinking. With some food I arranged to get him to follow me all the way through the garden into the house and the guest bathroom. Door closed, caught that cat.
Called the vet and took him there.
Lots of euros later I had a new cat. He remained at my house, during daytime in the garden and nighttime in the stable, that was direct connected to my house. Because Gismo was still very sick, Kuhka (later Cookie, because he became so pretty) had to sleep and eat separated from Gismo.
Cookie was not a very handsome cat. He liked to stay alone doing his things. With all the other cats he was always fighting, only with Gismo he had a secret contract, of not hurting each other.
Then I separated from my Ex and went away. Was searching long to find an appartment for me and two cats. An expensive one I found, with the possibility for the cats to enter a little part of the garden - perfect.
In the end I moved only with Gismo. My Ex wanted to keep Cookie. Things he said like: Cookie loves the place more than he cares about Gismo and me, were finally making me change my mind and leaving Cookie to him. What an error.
Two times I was going there later to pick up some things and evertime Cookie wanted to enter my car. Thought it was the normal reaction in that time.
5 months later my Ex told me on a meeting that Cookie disappeard 3 months ago. Also he said, he was only buying fooder and putting it outside in the garden. He didn't let him in the house and the stable anymore. (That time he already had two dogs - I found out later). For that I want you to suffer. Throwing people and animals away for the new better things. Shame on you.
I was going close to my old house for weeks calling Cookie and trying to find out what happend. But until the night before my operation I was not successful. (how he returned you see in my post of the 3rd and 04th of september).
So the night before my surgery he returned to us after 8 months travel. The place where a family found him was between my old house and my new appartment in annother town. (strange - was he crossing a mountain to find us, without knowing where we (me and Gismo) moved to?, almost seems like it.)
Back from the hospital after three nights (was in a hurry to get home), I faced the problem that in my little appartment I didn't had the possiblity to separate them, like in my old house.
But finally, everyday the two cats were growing more and more together, like pales.
Also after my arrival in Italy they were so nice with each other, that I didn't had to separate them anymore.
All his life Cookie was breathing very fast when he was sleeping and also when he was running (he always did short sprints - never long runnings). But every vet I was asking in Germany always said: he is stressed, don't worry.
In 2010 Cookie turned 7. His last month he was not so happy anymore, sleeping a lot and even my neighbors were asking, why he was running around with a sad face.
A date at the vet for vaccination of Gismo and Cookie.
First time an italian vet was seeing my cats (after almost a year in Italy).
I remember very well.
I said: This is my sick cat Gismo. He was controlling Gismo, listening his heart, giving him an anti-rabies inoculation and Gismo was finished.
I said: This is my Cookie cat. He was controlling Cookie, listening his heart, listening again and again. I got nervous. Than his question: Does he always breath like this. I answered: yes all his life, but all the vets said he is only nervous.
The vet was sure, that it is either a sickniss like Gismos or a trauma.
3 days later I took him to annother clinic to do the x-ray.
They found out very fast that Cookie was really sick and it was a wonder that he was still alive.
On the images even I could see that all his stomach part was completely empty and everything was moved up into his chest. For this reason the space for breathing and holding air was not bigger than a one euro piece. (The vet was right, a trauma caused by a car accident maybe). But all the time with me he never had a car accident. I only remember the time I found him without fur. Maybe he suffered all his life.
With every jump the space for breathing was getting smaller, because the organs were moving higher up, stealing the space of the heart and the lung. Normally a surgery right after an accident like this is a normal thing. But because Cookies accident was already so long ago, all the organs were grown into the new space.
I saw him after the operation he was shouting in pain. The first 12 hours are critical, they told me, but they also said, everything was going fine and he is a strong cat.
6 hours later they called me (midnight), home alone. They have problems, that the lungs cannot hold the air, is critical. 1 hour later they called me, he is dead. Any tries of calling him back into life were not successful. I picked him up a day later and buried him in the garden of the new house in Italy. There he is waiting for me and Gismo to follow.
One more time in my life, I was holding on to a dead body and had to let go. The last years of his life he was becoming more and more important for me, and when he was gone I realized how much I loved him.
For my fighter.
Cookie.
you found me,
you lost me.
You found me again
and you stayed.
You found your home
with Gismo and me.
Wish we would have known earlier.
Wish I could explain you why I
was bringing you to this hospital
where they made you suffer so much.
I will never forget your eyse
after the operation and your crying.
All I want is to explain you why.
Can you forgive me?
Or do you know.
