Sometimes I am really stupid. Instead of watching the falling stars with somebody tonight I took an invitation for a dinner my neighbors. There I can see once again how stupid I am sometimes and that is driving me crazy. But running away before things are getting to a point were it is starting to hurt has always been my easy way out. So "stupid" what are you going to do now. I don`t know.
In any way it is going to hurt - I know.
So am I preferring the short strong pain or the slow longlasting pain? In the end it always comes up to pain.
And do I really have a choice?
The straight street seems so fucking straight. Left and right no possibilities. Should I just stay here and wait. What am I waiting for? Signs? Trust? wait - stopp
who the fuck is talking about trust.
Okay - I will go forward - little step by step (if step 1 will not kill me - maybe step 2 the day or week after) How can a horse trust me while I cannot trust the world? Or does this horse knows something more than me...? And my cats? Also trusting me. Am I trusting myself? - is the question.
